Kiasi aka Kiasi-ism

Thursday, June 30, 2005

Because Of The Force...

We were loitering along the laboratory's corridor after our teabreak. The recess was still going on. From no where, appeared our PK HEM (Penolong Kanan Hal-Ehwal Murid), passed by the corridor. She asked us...

PKHEM : "Apasal you orang buat kat sini?"

Charles : "Oh, nanti kena kawad dekat tapak perhimpunan." (We have to march every morning and 5 minutes before entering the class. Specially 'thanks' to our discipline teacher's idea)

PKHEM : "Hari ini tak yah kawad. itu tapak perhimpunan tengah bikin itu tiang bendera." (Our school is fixing 3 flag posts. To avoid any accident, she cancelled the whole marching for today only)"

We : "Oh... OK lah. Bagus." *happy*

PKHEM : *going to her office*

Not long later, a voice shouting from 1st floor...

Sound : "HOOI! AKU SUDAH SURUH BERAPA KALI? NAK I SURUH YOU KAWAD BARU KAWAD KE?" *the voice is from the discipline teacher*

We : "Kena beratur ke?"


We : "went to kawad*

PKHEM : *came out from her office*

PKHEM and DT : *discussing something*

Not long later...

DT : *came to the tapak perhimpunan* *head to us* *threatening Charles* "Aku sudah cakap berapa kali? Setiap hari, 5 minute sebelum kelas, mesti kawad di sini. You tak dengar kah? Huh?!"

Charles : "Bukan saya lah." *very innocent*

DT : "Bukan you, habis siapa lagi? Saya sudah cakap. 2 minggu. Dua. Yi, er (trying to show of his mandarin lah). You pekak kah?......" *grumbling and grmbling*


DT : *slapped on Charles backside*

Everyone : *ROTFLMAO*

yes, it is pathetic to see such case happened. I don't know why must we march during the school hour. Why people must show of his power? He get anything? Particularly, everyone follows his order, but won't he just thinks that we are actually having some conflicts with him? Yes, we aren't satisfy with these type of 'aristocration' ruling system. Why can't we all having a 'democracy' ruling system?

IQ Question

Buaya69 lies only on Friday and Sunday. On the other days, he acts as an honest buaya. One day, he told Kancil Killer, "I lied yesterday and I'll be telling lies 2 days later." What day is that?

A) Monday
B) Tuesday
C) Wednesday
D) Thursday
E) Friday
F) Saturday
G) Sunday
H) No answer
I) More than one
J) Your answer

Please select one and leave your answer on the commenting section. Thank you. Answer will be revealed on Saturday. Just your answer will do. No need explaination.

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

The Victory

I can still recall how and why I won the Maths Competition which was held 2 years ago in SMK jalan Bukit, Kajang. I was called Mr 28 at that time due to my high agility in solving maths equations. I was able to do 50 PMR questions (that time Form 3 only mah) in 28 minutes, and scored the highest in the class. No calculator needed, no need to do calculation, everything was calcualted in my mind. Everyone was amazed with a student who can do so well and fast in Maths withou joining any arithmatic course , and thus they called me to join the Mathematic Competition. I was not only the one. they did call a Malay girl to participate with me.

The moment was unprepared. I didn't go for any 'special' training at that moment. I kept telling myself, "Lose, lose lah! I got nothing to lose." while the Malay girl kept telling me, "Eiyer... if lose already then how ah? I want to win! I want to win!" You see? She kept thinking of winning the game and she can't afford a lose. And so, she was nervous during the competition. This is the main factor where if you think you can, you CANNOT. Don't stress yourself to much in any competition. Result is not the matter, but the efforts we make.

Yes, in fact, we won. We got the third placing for our school team. I managed to get the runners-up for the individual participant. And she, got no placing, upper-5. That's the problem where every contestant faces in his/her very first match.

But here's the problem. People highly worshipped me. Asking me all the tough Maths question. I'm just a Maths King!!! Yet, I really gain nothing.

I always think I'm the cleverest. But yet, I've found there are many who can challenge my mind. There are many who know how to cross the 'bridge' and demolish it. I soon realized, I'm actually quite stupid, being used and used and used by those 'geniuses'.

I soon slacked in my Maths and Physic during middle of my Form 4., but still can manage to get A1 for both of them. Cross the boder line enough loh. I don't want to be a 'bridge' anymore. I want to get threatment like what my friends got. I want to be fair, yet I know I can't.

Later, a boy in my class higly brusehd up his skills. I think he wants to challenge me lah. Being a master in Add Maths, Maths and also Physics. Now he got his year. He has man friends now, which most of them threat him well just to take some tips from him. And he gave them all by teaching them the shortcuts and right way. I was satisfied and being praised to be neglected. I turned to become a clever person liao!!! they don't korek those tips from me. They trust this 'dear friend' as their 'savior'. At least, I turned to a clever boy at last.

Few weks ago, just before the holiday, this boy, my dear, he scored 99% in his Add Maths. Wahlau!!! In fact, the Add Maths teacher secretly told us, "This boy in fact got 100% wan. But I can't let him get 100%. So I changed my answer scheme to make him looks 'imperfect'." My dear, holy, he got 100% actually!!! Everyone doesn't believe him. But anyway, Only 3 people scored A1 in their Add Maths, he is the one of them, I'm also the one of them and the Malay Girl is also one of them. The Malay Girl and me has the same marks, which are both 76% (border line enough liao loh!) So the teacher called me and the boy up for the Add Maths competition for this year. WE are the host of the competition. The competition was held in our school.

I was fed up being a chimp champ. I told the teacher that I've no interest and I find meaningless with the competition. I actually felt disappointed with it. Therefor, the teacher got no choice, but to select the Malay Girl. I thought everything was fine without my participation.

This morning, she told the teacher that she was afraid of the competition. She fears that she can't win this time and will be thrown eggs by us. And the teacher pulak, registered by putting the boy and my name. How can like that wan? I didn't prepare at all!!! But anyway, I was forced to participate by the teacher.

This time, the boy pulak told me, "I want to win this competition for sure!!!"With his confident and also over-confident, I have to trust him. I've told him, "Never mind wan. It's just a competition. We got nothing to lose. In fact, this competition means meaningless to me." He didn't trust me this time and we entered the competition arena together.

The competition went like this: 30 questions in 1 hour. No calculator.Tthe standard was very high, almost Olympiad standard. By the last 5 minutes, we just got to tembak-ed all the un-known questions.

We left the hall. He looked happy. I think he is full of confidence that he will win. He tried to show off every question and solution to me. Although my answer written was different with him, but he put every confidence of him in his answer. Maybe he just wanted a victory gua.

Yes, he won this time too. We got the second placing for our school team, below SMK Yu Hua. He was so happy at that moment. During the 'Best-Contestant-Award', I was despaired. I thought since he can beat me flat in Add Maths, I think the award will goes to him or Yu Hua-ian. But "thousand-thousand-also-cannot-think", I got the best!!! No joke!!! I got the best!!! I was surprised!!! I can defeat my school's 'Add Maths King'. He was upset, I know this.

Therefor, don't be overconfident with your decisions or choices or thoughts. Everthing goes in opposite direction. I didn't practise for this time, I didn't prepare well, I didn't sleep well, I did my blog until 1.00 a.m. this morning. But yet, I still win with my unexpectation. *kembang* OK, this paragraph, or should say this post is for my syiok sendiri post. Just neglect it.

But back to the history, I expected they will rush to me and ask me for the Add Maths solutions. Haihz... people, are really people.

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

I'm So Kiasi!!!

My classmate was discussing what to have for lunch this afternoon. And they decided to call a postman to tarpow for them. They ordered totally 6 packets of Nasi Pattaya. I called the postman to add one more for me. And as usual, their (my classmates) characters make me so pissed off. The stupid postman just said, ‘You want to buy, you just go and buy for yourself lah.” OK, I was used to it already.

I was being a kiasi all the time. I quietly went to the Malays stall nearby. I called the ‘Mak Nyeh’ (dunno he or she also) get me one packet also. I called her to tambah one more egg for me. After that, I enjoyed the Nasi Pattaya at home by myself. See the way I entertained and advised myself? I’m so KIASI.

Monday, June 27, 2005

One Sentence Post

If electricity is to electrons, then is morality is to morons?

Sunday, June 26, 2005

Want A Pretty Girl? Want A Handsome Boy?

Question out here: Who doesn’t want themselves or their kids have a good partner in their live? I bet most of you do.

It is normal here. But I don’t know why I am so kinky.

For those Astro Dynasty subscribers, I think you know what is going on. I mean the Astro Chinese Pageant contest will be coming soon. Every year, this event will brings many supporters and audience to the studios or sitting in front of their idiot box. OK, I admit some are just to wash their eyes only. Sometimes, I do also. Don’t need to say any pageant contest lah. Even everybody is chasing the Korean Drama ‘Jewel In The Palace’ everyday just to see the pretty of Lee Yung-Ae. Izzit? Don’t lie lah, I know most of the boys do. And girls also, you weren’t miss out too. I can see most girls that I’ve met online and my school friends will ask me to download tonnes of celebrities. Got what lah, Orlando Bloom lah, McGregor, Jesse McCartney lah……Why all like that wan?

Sometimes I can’t get the real meaning why people like to chose lengluis and lengzhai wan? By the time they get old already, also so ugly. Don’t try to deny lah. Mr Kiasu has posted how many times already. Here got, here got and here also got.

By the time the pageant show starts, every of my family member starts crowding in front of the idiot box and open their eyes big big. I am always sitting at the back. Watching every contestant coming out, the 'hoohaa'ing sounds will filled in the hall. Is either good or bad. One thing I can say that my taste is bad enough. Example when a contestant is coming out, my father and mother will start the thing first, "Haiyoh, you see lah this girl. Breast so leper. Mouth so big. Teeth so yellowish. So ugly. And then so fat summore. Lidat how to enter the contest? How to become Miss Malaysia? Tell me lah..." Even my younger sister also support that statement. I stare at a moment. Thinking that the girl is also quite OK mah, what's wrong with that? The worse part is, I'm thinking of who to marry later. Pretty girl? Won't lah. My condition like that, how to get a pretty girl? I scare that my parents won't allow me to marry any girl later. Haihzz... so difficult.

I don't understand why boys prefer girls with good looking, ig brest, long hair, thin waist, big buttock, cissy sound, no wear spec…… and girls always want their bf to be macho, rich, handsome looking, 6-foot tall...... And because of this, various operations were underwent. Now did they look as natural as last time?

OK, I admit that I dream girl, XXX, is a little bit chubby looking, quite short, wear specs, short hair. So what? I feel the kindness in her. I know she is nice and good. I think she can become a better partner than those pretty girls outside. So what? What for need a pretty girls. And one thing for sure is, pretty girls attract many boys. Don't ever think that you got the 'coli' to show off and get those girls lah. Even if you get so, I think the relationship won't last long. Trust me. Even I haven't encounter this before.

So, is it good to have a pretty or a macho looking partner? Think twice.

Saturday, June 25, 2005

Stupid SMS

Just recieved an SMS today from an anonymous...

"Sorry, I have change my number again- 015-5555555 (I've change the number, okay?) hope you understand.

Sender: +6015-55555555"

Certainly I know the sender is my friend, but who the fook know who is that? Thus I questioned back. And I got the answer she is my classmate, Diana.

Please lah, please state your name before you want to inform your new identity.

Friday, June 24, 2005

ET ... (7)

English lesson...

ET : "What is the past tense of 'partake'?"

Albert : "Huh? BATIK? What? Batik got past tense wan ah?"

Everyone : *LOL*

ET : "SO?!?! What is the answer?!?!?!"

Albert : "Batiked?"

ET : "NO ALBERT! Is 'partook'. Not batiked."

Albert : "Buttock?"

Everyone : *ROTFLMAO*

Teamwork, are we? ... (2)

I doubt why people keep on saying teamwork is good, and this and that... When it comes to a gathering, many problems will occurred.

I don't know why the team leader was so sucks. I bet, my situation is just like yours. Most of the girls like to lead, and so, the got a chance to bully boys mah. And when they plan anything, they will plan everything by themselves, and just force the boys to agree with them. Is this more to 'rape'? I don't know. The worse part is, even they have plan finish, they would change their plan also. Example, they wanted to eat at the Dome Restaurant, and ended up go to A&W Restaurant. *Note, we boys didn't object nor feel satisfy with the Dome Restaurant, but they change their plan by themselves. Really a 'Good Leader'.

Besides that, I also know why they can't get a job and spend their time for their jog. Instead of 'Just Obey Boys', they just make it to 'Just Obey Girls'. OK, when it comes to girls, they make their decision so 'cissilly' and slow. Just imagine, if for the boys, 'Argh... Ok lah, OK lah. Just make it lidat. Gaodim (finish).' And the worse part is, they just force us to follow them. In case, any of them was raped or molested or anything lost, they'll definitely but a blame on the boys, saying that we are not macho enough lah, we don't have sympathy lah, we so cruel lah, this lah, that lah...... So as a lesson learnt, never go shopping with girls. If you wish to, may be risk be with you.

In fact, being a tiny team member, you must also know who is the Godfather of the group or who is the most important people in the group. And the toughest part thing to do is, to polish their shoes. Pandai-pandai lah. Don't think that you serve the most, you'll become the big shot. No! It isn't this way. In fact, only yau-yeng (handsome) guys will be eyed. And keep your every word. Show no malice when you speak to your team member. I was pissed of by my group member one day. Things just went wrong...

Place - In front of a condo. (Mentioned at Wingz's blog once before)
Time - 3.00 p.m.
Society - ??????

Valerie : "Haiyoh... I want to go back liao lah. Got something to do lah."
H : "Huh? You want to go back already ah?"
E : "Yaloh? Why so early? Still got time mah?"
H : "Yaloh? Don't go back so fast lah."
S (girl) : "Yaloh, we want to go juke box and sing kalaokay......."

I was thinking that maybe she has some urgent things to do, or maybe will be screwed by her mother if she return home late. Thus I made a wrong move...

Me : "Aiyah... just let her be lah, maybe she got something to do leh? Or maybe her mother will scold her leh?

I was in a sudden anger. Thus I went back home by myself. Valerie at last decided to go juke box with them, and me........ I will always remember this sentence in my heart. Thinking how they threat me, how the world is so fuck-ed up.

So, what for teamwork? Aigh... Just don't give a demn to them lah. Demn = them. I won't be going any outing with 'demn' already. Better stay in the house and do my blogging. At least, I can learn many thing s from here.

Thursday, June 23, 2005


May I be the first to post the PPS result:

Blog Of The Year - Kenny Sia
Neophyte Of The Year - Simon
Ping Of The Year - Jeff Ooi

About Malaysia

I don't remember how I 'invaded' to a person's blog before. But since this blogger wants to make friend or want to know more about Malaysia, then I think I shall fulfill his wish as a guest of my blog. So, about the'Teamwork, do we?' post, I think I should delay it to tomorrow. Sorry for the inconvenient. *For those who are also Malaysians, please do go on, who knows you'll left out something that you don't know?

Official Language - Malay
Race - 3 (Malay, Chinese, Indian)
Captal - Putrajaya
Prime Minister - Datuk Seri Abdullah bin Ahmad Badawi
Population - 25,720,000
Area - 329,759 km2
Currency - Ringgit (RM)
National Flower - Hibiscus
National Anthem - Negaraku (will be compulsory soon before every cinema film show starts)
Independence Date - 31st of August 1957
Export - Palm Oil, Tin, Petroleum (first class), rubber and things that made by rubber (you know lah), national car (Proton)
Status - Peaceful, no war, no any suspect by US, no nuclear weapons......
Speciality - night market, food, tourist area, culture rich......
Food - Nasi Lemak, Roti Canai, Yong Tau Foo, Chee Cheong Fun, Ipoh White Coffee, Ipoh Chicken Rice, Ipoh Chicken Slice Noodle, Char Kuay Teow (best, but non-halal)......
Tourist Area - Penang, Malacca, Langkawi, Kuala Lumpur, Genting (got casino, but non-halal also)......

Aiayh, too many too type already, very lazy to continue. For more information, please log on to here to get more informations. Thank you.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Teamwork, any? ... (1)

I just like to do things by myself, rather than depend on the others or soi-dissant 'partner' with others. I go pasar malam by my own, go mamak and eat by my own, study by my own, shopping by my own... The thing is, why should we have teamwork?

Many people think teamwork is the best, as you can solve things easily, solve things happily, and also solve things quickly. The first thing is, I think what are they thinking is just among the 1% of them. I don't really see we can do things easily. I don't really see we can do things happily. And I don't really see we can do things quickly. Why those philosophers came out all these things wan?

People ought to make themselves being noticed in an organization or a group. Nevertheless, some of them try to act HEROes. They lead without realize themselves are just small soldiers. the lead with their own stupid ideas, shouting like baboons, pinpointing here and there... and thus, others aren't satisfy and the whole organization quarrelled. Is this what we call 'happily'?

I wasn't realize this interesting topic until I came across a gathering at KLCC last Saturday. We planned to arrive there at 10.30 a.m. Ended up, a girl, JUST BECAUSE OF A GIRL, woke up at 10.00 a.m., I repeat, 10.00 A.M., and we have to empty our stomach to wait for her, I repeat again, EMPTY STOMACH. We have to take the pictures for our stupid school magazine's gallary, and we can't take when one was lefted out. In fact, 2 was lefted out. They were having fever at that time, and then the whole gathering was cancelled, I repeat my last time, CANCELLED. WTF is this? Just because of the 2? hey c'mon lah. Adobe Reader was found and we cannot do photoshop wan meh? Just left the 2? Easy lah. Just superimpose it lah. What the heck so mah-fan, until the gathering must be cancelled? After the gathering was cancelled, and have our lunch at there (our lunch was A&W, kay?), and then those group of people (11 people) were discussing whether want to go home or not. Here's the excerpt conversation...

Charles : "So now how? Want to go home anot?"
H (girl) : "Go home? Wait first ah... let me think first... eh E, want to go home anot?"
E (girl) : "Go home? Eiyer... *high frequency voice* go home also nothing to do? Just stay here and walk for a while lah."
H : "Ok loh, just walk here for a while loh."
E : "But walk for what ah? Got anything to buy meh?"
H : "Just see see only mah."
E : "See see only ah? Wait first ah... got what thing to see leh???" *think for 2 minutes* "Oh... yahor... I want to see got the Cadbury Chocolate anot first."
H : "OK also."
E : "But got money ah?"
H : "Got got. Left RM2 only."
E : "Eiyer... *high frequency voice* only RM2 ah? Wait we still have to buy lolipop wan leh?"
H : "Yaloh... the lolipop was so tasty lah......"
Boys : *dumbfucked*

Aren't we were discussing whether want to go back anot?...

Mike : "OK lah, like this lah. Who wants to go back? Maybe we'll go back to my house first, and then use my car, and go to a place."
Girls : "Where?"
Mike : "Ma-lai-can-San (Bukit Belacan)."
Girls : "Where is it? Go there for what?"
Mike : "Go there swim lah, can swim wan. Got mountain got water."
H : "Eeeee...... Yuppeee........ can go swimming. I want I want!"
E : "I also want. I like swimming very much, I like swimming very much."
H : "I also, I also. I remember the last time I swim is about 1 month ago......" *continue story*
Boys : *dumbfucked once again*

Ended up, we discussed the question, "Whether want to go back anot?" for 45 minutes. And at last, we can go back home peacefully. Just say "yes" a word so susah wan meh? What for want to take so long and pissed people off?

So as a result? What for teamwork? Definitely people will not be interested in a topic, and started to go out of a topic. Come on lah, everything we learn in our Moral Education just works different from our real life.

......part 2 coming up next......

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Bloggers Day

When it comes to a festival, no matter is Chinese New Year, Hari Raya, Father Day, Mother Day, Doctor Day, Labour Day ...... even during hungry ghost festival, bloggers will blog about it and wish those ghost outside there happy happy enjoy themselves. I wodner I can only wish my father, my mother and those readers happy this happy that day...... and myself? I didn't get any wishing.

I wonder why I so charm cham. At least lah, I'm also a blogger mah. When people will wish me a Happy Bloggers Day leh? Wait for a minute, did anyone knows when is Bloggers Day? Or is Bloggers Day exist?

If Bloggers Day do exist, I think that people will wish all those bloggers around a Happy Bloggers Day. I hope people will start sending me mails her and there, giving cards, and also offering some SYTs to me...... But I think most readers don't know my true identity in my real life, nor those who know I'm a blogger. As a result, I'll be only sitting on my chair, in from of my PC to open my mails one by one to see those wishings.

BTW, I think my blog attracts mostly Ah-SAHMs. I don't see many youngster-bloggers on my blog. Maybe mine was too boring, or I'm more 'youngster' than them. I'm too young to blog lah I think. Vocab lauyah, jokes lauyah, storylines lauyah...... maybe I'll try to change them all.

I can only imagine what dear readers will give me...

1) Milly Jiejie will give me...

click here for surprise (OK, I don't know how to copy those HTML)

her looi looi...

Milly Jiejie : "Didi. Sorry ah. My mother fed them satay celup this time. This time different from the previous time. This time, it terus makan, terus diarrhea. Haiyoh... and then the discharge kena its body. This time want to wipe also susah lah. Very sorry lah, didi..."

Me : "Never mind lah. I'll get a Dulux Whethershield." *eiyer...*

2) Those Ah-SAHMs will give me...

click here to view picture

picture celok-ed from msau's blog

Ah-SAHMs : "Aiyah... sorry wor. We all lupa-ed to pluck those Alphonso from India. Aiyah... so big prawn head lah... Never mind, next year bou-fan-sou (replace back)."

Me : *long time no eat Alphonso liao*

3) Loc Kee maybe will give...




I think nothing lah...

Loc Kee : "You always want to 'pou-sau' on me, what you expect me to give you?"

Me : "Taggings."

4) Juliana maybe will give me...

A creative Happy Bloggers Day SMS. Wonder how will it looks like.

5) Tiuniasing maybe will give me...

click here to view picture

erm... I think so, plus porns (if he is too free to draw).

tiuniasing : "NAH!!! This is what I will give you!!!"

Me : "......"

Is Blogger Day really good? In fact, I lied to dear readers throughout this post. There is a Bloggers Day. It falls on every 14th of June. I posted late liao. Sorry loh, I just found out today mah. BTW, HAPPY BELATED BLOGGERS DAY!!!

* This post is just based on my 'colourful dreams'. My sincere apology if I'd offended anyone on this post. No blogger was harm in it.

Monday, June 20, 2005

Thanks God!!! (Run Very Fast, A Wonderful World)

Something has troubled me yesterday. Yesterday was a nightmare, but today I can say the dark cloud has went off... I don't want to say anything about yesterday. For those who knows what happened yesterday, pleae don't reveal out in the comment session. *Please note, I'm always a kind person. I don't wish to be so cruel.

_ says: hi
Alphonso Tan: hi
_ says: i am lonly
Alphonso Tan: so?
_ says: want accompany me?
Alphonso Tan: accompany what?
_ says: be with me
Alphonso Tan: bz ler
_ says: u are same like the boy
_ says: bore with me liao
_ says: :(
Alphonso Tan: one question
Alphonso Tan: are you fooling me actually?
_ says: about?
Alphonso Tan: the love love things.
_ says: no why
_ says: are u
Alphonso Tan: I wonder why the 'Alphonsoisme' has been spreaded so widely.
Alphonso Tan: even my friend used that
_ says: wat is alphonism mean?
Alphonso Tan: something which invented by me
_ says: got relation with love?
Alphonso Tan: yes
Alphonso Tan: of course
_ says: wat relation?
Alphonso Tan: for more information about Alphonsoisme, please refer to here
Alphonso Tan:
_ says: do realy love me?
Alphonso Tan : I think you are just fooling me.
_ says: no
_ says: are u fool me?
Alphonso Tan: then nvm lah
Alphonso Tan: maybe I'm too young for you
Alphonso Tan: BTW, I got someone to introduce to you
Alphonso Tan: a better man
_ says: who
Alphonso Tan: smarter,
Alphonso Tan: richer
Alphonso Tan: wait first
_ says: u dun love me rite
Alphonso Tan: too young for you lah
Alphonso Tan: (Sorry ah, LiewCF)
Alphonso Tan : he is a great guy
Alphonso Tan : do feel free to email to him
_ says: u dun love me becos u wan dump me
Alphonso Tan: not to say I dun love,
Alphonso Tan: but the fact is
Alphonso Tan: this year got exam
Alphonso Tan: and I'm so young
Alphonso Tan: and we nvr seen each other b4
_ says: if u dun want me pls tell me..
Alphonso Tan: ...bla bla bla...bla bla bla...
Alphonso Tan: maybe better be friend first,
Alphonso Tan: maybe you'll find a better person
_ says: u got new gf now?
Alphonso Tan: I don't have any gf now wor
_ says: why u talk so nasty too me
Alphonso Tan: aiyo...
Alphonso Tan: I'm so busy nowadays,
Alphonso Tan: how to be with you???
_ says: if u got new gf pls tell me
Alphonso Tan: I dun have any gf now
_ says: if u dun want me pls tell me
Alphonso Tan: if can choose hor...
Alphonso Tan: we know each other not long enuff
Alphonso Tan: and then
Alphonso Tan: no picture also
Alphonso Tan: so maybe can say so lah
Alphonso Tan: not to say I'm cruel
Alphonso Tan: or maybe you can think about that
Alphonso Tan: but I certainly feel that I don't suit your taste
Alphonso Tan: nor will give happiness to you
_ says: ok from now
_ says: u call me auntie

Thanks GOD!!!!!! I'm considering whether should I have a gf now or not. What do you think?

*BTW, this is the first time I was approached by a girl.

ET... (6)

ET gave us some exercises about pronouns (You know? those ayurveda I, you , we, they).

After finished doing, ET called students one by one. Ngam ngam, Wayne was given a question:

"Those are fierce animals. Don't go near ______." Fill in the blank.

ET : "Ok, is Wayne's turn. What is your answer?"

Wayne : "Them (sounds like 'damn')."

There was a silence... and then...

Me : "Hor, hor... hor, hor... say foul word."

Albert : "Oh..." *index finger pointing towards Wayne* "Cher, do you hear that?"

Everyone : *LOL*

ET : *smiling* " I noticed. Cetiar (Treasurer), go collect 50 sen from Wayne. He used an offensive word."

Wayne : "Where got? I just say the word 'them'. What's wrong with that?"

ET : "Yes, that's an offensive word. Only I can use the word 'damn'."

Wayne : "@#$%@#$%@$#%" *pay money to treasurer*

Sunday, June 19, 2005

Uncivilised Commentators

Something that happened on me. Not only me, but also other (story at here). I don’t know why people like to flame each other, especially in the blogosphere.

OK, fine. I was flamed and was forced not to continue anything more on my previous blog. But one thing I don’t know. Why people like to flame on others blogs and draw attention from the others and make themselves like an @$$h0LE?

Blog, a personal journal. Some blogs were paid for it’s domain and hosting fees. Therefore, what I can say is, ‘blogger can write anything he or she likes on his or her blog’. IMHO, everyone has the right to say what they feel in their blogs. But readers just need to think twice before they start posting some offending comments, or else they’ll have 2 results: FUCKED OFF or PISSED OFF.

I curiously doubt that why there are some readers bother to post an offensive or a malice comment on others blogs? Do they really think twice? Do they really think before that most of the blog readers are actually the supporters and the worshippers of that blogs? Do they really apply the ‘If can defeat your opponent, just join the league together”?

I think no one really wish to get an insulting or offensive comments saying that ‘Your blog is a piece of SHIT!’, ‘You are a F***ED UP Human Being’ or ‘Go and think back! You @$$h0LE!”. I mean, bloggers so ‘san-fu’ (tired) to type one whole post and publish it, and do readers really expect to get a back expectation from others?

As I think I threat my readers and supporters quite nice. I don’t post any disclaimer. But I think there always lies a ‘hidden disclaimer’ behind it, signifying readers that, “I really appreciate if you enjoy what you read here; and vice versa, if you don’t feel like reading this blog, just F***ED OFF from here.” And yet, readers and commentators often make mistakes without themselves realize this. The worse part is, I wonder why those ‘lowlife’ bugs have the gut to post their uncivilised comments, they don’t have the ‘balls’ to post their true pictures, or names, or URLs. Are they just coward? Or just tok-king someone’s back?

There are many commentors who think that theyare holier-than-thou who goes around, leaving their ‘stupiak’ opinions, as thought they will appreciate their comments and follow their ‘holy’ path, and they think that they are so damn blardy smart like that.

Why??? WHY IS THE WORLD SO F***ED UP wan? (Did I learn from someone?) So, who’s next to be the screw-up? Who’s next to do the same mistake? And, before you post any of your 2 cents comment (not only on my blog, but also blogs outside there), think twice. Your comment that you post is a reflection of yourself in real life. Be responsible and learn to respect others, only then others will learn to respect you.

*Sorry for this very short post. I’m lazy to type my opinion. I’m tired now. Want to go and sleep already. The most I’ll elaborate at the comment section later.

Related links:
Another blogging art - Commenting - From 5xMom
Weblog index - From Mr Kiasu
Criticians .... - From Carol
and many more...

Saturday, June 18, 2005


Time – 7.00 p.m.
Place – Restaurant DDD
Society - ??????

Whole family : *looking at menu*

Dad : “I want this one.”

Me : “I want that one.”

Mom : “ I want another one”

Lady boss : “OK, will be coming soon.”

20 minutes later…

Dad : “Hoooi!!! Why so long wan?”

Lady boss : “Sorry, sorry. My indon worker not here to help me lah.”

Dad : “Why she not here wan?”

Lady boss : “she not feeling well lah.”

Me : “Period loh. No need to ask so much already.”

Friday, June 17, 2005

Kick Mud Negara (Part 1)

During tuition…

Students : *Checking NS by using hp*

Me : *look see kay-poh*

Ian : "Yeah… I got through the phone service liao."

Me : "Why dowan to check using indian-net?"

Ian : "House no Stream Ass. Using 1515 lah. Very slow. And then the traffic very heavy summore."

Me : "Yaloh, I took 15 minutes to check my name, but lucky tak kena. Hehehe…"

Ian : "Hold on, I want to talk to them. Hello? Saya nak pastikan saya kena NS ke tak. Nombor

IC saya ialah 88****-**-****…"

2 minutes later…

Ian : "Oh… Insya-Allah. Tak kena. Tolong checkkan untuk girlfriend saya, boleh? Nombor IC

dia ialah 88****-**-****…"

2 minutes later…

Ian : "Oh… Alhamdulilliah tak kena lagi. Tolong check kasi kawan saya. Nombor IC dia, 88****-


2 minutes later…

Ian : "Oh! Tak kena lagi. Whoaaa… Tolong confirmkan satu lagi…" *shocked* *off phone*

Students : "So how?"

Ian : "Vince didn't kena. Jason I dunno."

Jason : "Why you didn't check for me wan?"

Ian : "The bloody idiot barger scolded me."


Ian : "Yalah. He said cannot ask to much wor. Lidat also kena scolding."

I also insya-Allah, didn't kena. Same as Penny too. Who kena summore ah?

BTW, 5xMom, I know your history liao.
(to be continue...)

Anyone Wants To Be With Me?

At school...

2 Form-1 boys rushed to me...

Form 1 #1 : "Alphonso, this guy (pointing at Form 1 #2) loves your cousin."

Form 1 #2 : "Hehehe......"

Me : "Huh? You ah? What for let me know about this? Only if got people love me hor, then you come and let me know! Go back, go back!"

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Is this good?

Can anyone tell me that this university is good? Will I become like this after my graduate?

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Help Please!!!

Can anyone let me know what is the best birthday present for mother ah? Cheap yet meaningful? Those Ah-SAHMs outside, what did your children give you before?

Book Tagged

I know I'll kena this sooner or later. Expected from Milly.

1. Total number of books I've owned: Too many liao.

2 & 3 – Last book I bought and read – Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Have to read to learn some tactics of kau-lui.

4. Five books or magazines that mean a lot to me : -

A) Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs - teach me how to kao-lui.

B) In Search Of Excellence by Thomas J. Peters and Robert H. Waterman Jr. - teaching us how to fun a company. I don't know why I read such book, but this is a book I stolefrom my father's bookshelf and read.

C) Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown - And now, this is still the best seller in Malaysia. If not mistaken, this book has been the 'Undefeated' for one and the half year already. The plot is really interesting, full of suspence, and very nice... (Pssst... especially the X-rated part)

D) The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey - A self-improvement book which teach people how to improve themselves. Be Proactive --> begin with the End in Mind --> Put First Things First --> Think Win/Win --> Seek First to Understand... Than to be Understood --> Synergize --> Sharpen the Saw.

E) 100 Ways to Beat The Market by Gene Walden - OK, I'm not suppose to read this. But I read this just to know some skills in investment only mah.

5. Tag 5 people and have them to (re)-fill this out on their blogs (cannot use back the same old one).
- Milly - because I kena tagged by her.
- Loc1717 - because he tagged Milly, and I kena tagged by her.
- Msau - because she tagged Loc1717, and Loc1717 tagged Milly and I kena tagged by her.
- Mumsgather - because she tagged Msau, and Msau tagged Loc1717, and Loc1717 tagged Milly, and I kena tagged by Milly.
- mama22beas - because she tagged Mumsgather, and Mumsgather tagged Msau, and Msau tagged Loc1717, and Loc1717 tagged Milly, and I kena tagged by her.

Auntie Lilian 'run chicken (escape)'. She was supposed to be the 6th victim. But since I can only tag 5 people, then she considered escape this time.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

I Bought A Book!!!

I rushed myself to the nearest bookshop after finished posting my comment on Auntie Lilian's post. Thinking of aftering my XXX, I decided to take a try, AT LEAST A TRY, since I trust Auntie Lilian so much.

The bookshop isn't that big. It is just a 2 story shop. Therefore, I entered the bookshop with my RM50. I got lots of money, hehehe, because i don't spend necessarily, that's why. I went to the novel section. There aren't many books there. For all I know, I'm stupid enough. I never heard before many author of those books. But at least, AT LEAST, I'm not fully stupid, okay? I heard about Snow White before. Thinking about Doctor Liew's Snow White Story Part 1, 2 and 3, I was thinking how original was his storyline. Therefor, I made a choice to buy this book.

Yes, I'm having this book with me now. I didn't know the actual story of it. Yeah, I know I'm stupid. So ended up, I bought the book for RM 17.90.

When I reached the counter, the staffs and all the queuers were laughing at me. See lah, those uncivilize people. What lah...... I just thinking of giving a try only mah.

Monday, June 13, 2005


Testing. I publish this post from my Gmail account.

Jeff Ooi's Blog got 'Negaraku'?

I was visiting Jeff Ooi's blog just now and he uses the 'Negaraku' as his background music.

After that, I informed my friend about this. Mana tau, he screwed me back and said, 'Hey! Why are you informing me that? You know, I was watching my porns, and suddenly the song comes out, what is your feeling?'.

So High!

ET : "Haiyoh, I marked your question papers during your holidays lah. Your papers are so atrocious marn! Most of you scored very LOW!"

Students : *roll eye*

ET : "OK. I'm going to distribute those papers now. Izdham, 62."

Izdham : *went out and took his paper*

ET : "Wayne, 86."

Albert : "Wow! It is getting higher and higher now. Don't worry. We sure above 86 already wan."

ET : "Getting HIGHER you HEAD lah!"

Everyone : *LOL*

Sunday, June 12, 2005

With Fork And Knife

Have you seen people eat their burger and roti john with fork and knife before anot?

I had.

Saturday, June 11, 2005

I'm a Singapore Blogger

Congratulations Xia Xue, you are...

'PoiPoi' Apple Lim of

You look like a stereotypical bimbo outside but its a different story inside. You're a nice, simple, proud and straightforward person who believes what you're doing is right. You don't change people, and you love them for who they are. Your primary goal in life is to be happy, next to being pretty. You have your detractors but you don't let them bring you down. You go out of your way to help others out even before they ask, and for that they love you.

Which Singaporean Blogger Are You?

*Note, I use Xia Xue as my name.

Got this from Kenny Sia.

Friday, June 10, 2005


I thought I've met the most friends on the Friendster at Kenny Sia's blog in one of his post, but one hill still got one hill tall. I thought the one who got 3500 friends on her Friendster's accounts are considered nothing to do already. But I just discovered someone breaks the record, with 9 Friendster accounts and has around 4500 friends. WTFOMGBBQ!?!?!?!? I've been struggling to hit my 2-digit jackpot, but this guy.........

Suzen, I think you must brush up yourself.

Thursday, June 09, 2005

I outdate ah?!?!?!?!?!?!

Tan says: hi
Tan says: Your buddy has a new Buddy Icon. Take a look!
Alphonso Tan says: hi
Tan says: hei>>>>>>>>wat pic ugly i wan vomit liao
Tan says: Your buddy has a new Buddy Icon. Take a look!
Alphonso Tan says: That's why I put this picture
Alphonso Tan says: to make people vomit
Alphonso Tan says: your picture also make people feel freaky lah
Tan says: ua u au au
Tan says: ya meh
Alphonso Tan says: yaloh
Alphonso Tan says: eye big big
Tan says: ok ya handsome pic come liao
Alphonso Tan says: Ok.
Alphonso Tan says: this one not bad
Tan says: how about thiws
Alphonso Tan says: hm....
Alphonso Tan says: this one also not bad
Tan says: who is yr idol
Alphonso Tan says: Jeff Ooi
Alphonso Tan says: aiyah
Alphonso Tan says: you dunno wan lah
Alphonso Tan says: what about you?
Tan says: tell me the full name
Tan says: wat
Alphonso Tan says: Jeff Ooi Quan Ann (If not mistaken), doc, chanlilian...(for those I didn't mention, don't be sad, kay?)
Tan says: about me???/
Tan says: out date idol ar
Alphonso Tan says: who?
Alphonso Tan says: who outdate?
Tan says: ooi ...
Alphonso Tan says: nochet wor
Alphonso Tan says: everyday still got many fansi wan wor
Alphonso Tan says: you know
Tan says: nnnnnnnnnnnno
Alphonso Tan says: idol doesn't mean that he or she is handsome or pretty
Tan says: bad taste
Alphonso Tan says: still got one more idol wan
Alphonso Tan says: tiuniasing (I want something hot!!)
Tan says: hey u male or female
Alphonso Tan says: male (stupid!)
Tan says: oh
Alphonso Tan says: why?
Tan says: hor! You say bad word.
Alphonso Tan:......

Stupid barger, Jeff Ooi also don't know. Outdate summore.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

What for invite?

After the dream, I woke up and thought to myself, whether I can marry XXX in 10 years time (OK, I know I'm dreaming again). And I was also planning whether want to held a buffet style dinner or those few-course dinner. But later, I was realized then, what is the purpose for having those dinners.

I have to go back to my father's hometown in Malacca twice or trice a year just to attend those dinners. My father was ranked number ninth in his family. Therefore, I think there are about 30 over cousins I have. Every year, we have to rush back from KL to Malacca, after dinner, from Malacca rush back to KL again (because those dinners were always to be held on Sunday). We can't put overnight there, because staying hotel in Malacca is just like staying hotel in San Francisco. They charge tourist's price instead of local price.

Sometimes when we recieve invitations from friends or relatives which stated someone someone is going to marry someone someone and having 10-course dinner at this this rstaurant or where where, we do really just go there for fun, seeing which lenglui is going to enter the 'hole room'. No doubt, marriage recorded a milestone in our life. We can also dressed ourselves in the best situation in our life on this day. But is it invitation is the best solution to tell the others that there is a couple is going to marry?

I have came acroos many wedding dinners in my life. So far, the results didn't make big differences. Everytime if we don't want to go, complaining about transport problems, selection of date is unwise...... we'll ended up get fired left, right, up down, in front, behind and right in the middle, saying that we didn't give face lah, show no respect here and there. But if we go, we'll definitely be neglected aside. As my father ranked the ninth in his family, therefore, we'll have to sit the most behind around the corner, and we can't realy see how to lenglui and lengzhai kissing each other.

Besides that, are those people really go for the dinner to congrate them? For each guest, (s)he must pack a minimum RM50 red packet for the bride and groom. If not emough, the next dinner you'll not be invited, and they'll curse behind of you. For some people, they just want to show off their richness, they'll walk inside the restaurant with a datuk tongkat (they aren't lame), chest pushed up, and give the red packet withouut looking at anyone (they aren't blind too). And some will think that this guy really par-pai to give the red packet.

Did people really go for the dinner? Most likely when you attend a wedding dinner, you'll definitely see people cheersing around to the each table. Yet, when they came to our table, they'll force us to cheers with them. I am still an under-age small boy, my mom doesn't drink, my dad has sickness that make him can't drink, and they'll also force us to drink. If we don't do that, ended up say we didn't give face again. What lah...... Why the Chinese so like faces wan? Ended up we still have to drink 'Chinese tea' and back stabbed by others.

After the cheersing session over, most of the drunkers will go on the stage and sing their famous song, 'Jiu Gang Kang Buey Boh' and make themselves look like Mr Bean. Singing ike William Hung. Did we really attend the wedding dinner or just to go for a drink or isn't just a rendezvous for long-time-no-see relatives?

After the dinner, we'll be watching everyone complaing things here and there. No piglet lah, no fish lah, no this lah, no that lah, desserts should serve Leng Zhai Kang lah, bride not pretty lah, overweight lah, can see her big hips lah... all sorts of complains around. At last, why we must have wedding dinners? What for we send invitations as no one is interested in the wedding dinners?

Tuesday, June 07, 2005


Gfoto is a photo album and you can:
* store up to a gigabyte of your photos.
* share your photos with your friends and family.
* create public or private albums.
* watch your albums using your own URL.
* organize and sort your photos and albums.
* link to your photos from everywhere on the net.
* join a community of professional and ammateur photographers.
* take control of your digital assets with rich photo editing tools.
* order your photos.

See? So good. Can store photo. If not enough, create one more. All for free. You can only get 1GB storage system only if you invite 9 friends (fail to invite or not, doesn’t matter).

Lover Murdered

I was waking up at 10.00 a.m. on that day. Thinking that I'm so bored, nothing to do, and then very tired some more, therefore I decided to continue lying on my bed. As I was lying down, I accidentally dozed off.

From part of the dream was forgotten. I only remember I invited XXX to my house, and she agreed. My parent wasn't at home at that time. And then I accidentally killed her. The reason I killed her was also forgotten. The way I killed her was also forgotten. I think is either suffocated her or accidentally stabbed her. But she died on the spot. I was gan-cheong at that moment. Thus I went to the goldsmith shop behind my house to get a guni-sack. And I ran home with it.

After reach home, I test her breath. But I can't help. I love her, but I really don't know what to do. I gave her my last hug, and inserted her to the guni-sack. I brought along the guni-sack to don't know where also (I think is either the forest or the seaside), and throw her there. I ran back home.

After a few months later (still in my dream), I realized that it was XXX's birthday. Therefor, I made a call to her. Her phone wasn't answering. Thus, I called her mom. Her mom picked up her phone and answered my called. She sounds like crying horribly. From that onwards, then only I realized that I've murdered XXX. I'm so stupid!!! I really don't know what to do. I was thinking of telling her the whole story that I've murdered XXX, but I scared she'll scold me, "WHAT?!?!? YOU ARE THE MURDERER?!?!?! GIVE BACK MY DAUGHTER! GIVE MY MY DAUGHTER!!!" So, I was thinking of commit suicide before to solve all the problems.

While I was thinking, I woke up (11.00 a.m.). Luckily this was only a dream. I shiffered the whole day and can't concentrate my work. Lucky. I SMSed XXX later, and was known that she is still alive.

Monday, June 06, 2005

Rich Man, Rich World

I really have a kind of feeling, the world is conquered by the rich, by money. You got money, you can do anything you want, and also seldom show sympathy towards people suffering else where.

Instead of sympathize a person, I thought several times. The riches spends their money, which most likely doesn't belong to them (from their parents, hubbies, or just buy something which they can't afford?). Showing off their luxuries, properties, money...... by the fact, just to get attractions from many, without realize that they had insulted to others from nowhere.

The worst part is, when troubles get into them, they'll start to point their finger to another parties, saying that the others got no sympathy or whatsoever. For an example, when they were robbed, there starts the moment they begin to point their fingers to the robber lah, roadside people for not giving their help lah, their friends who didn't help them...... reasons were thrown everywhere, just to please her. In fact, they didn't realize that they are the one who creates problems to themselves. And then, what they hope for after the incident, was just a simple yet 'fake' advises and smiles from their 'true' friends and cursing the robbers. Do they think the robbers will be so good and refund their stuffs? Or do they think that their friends will share their money to overcome their losts? But what to do? People got money mah! People can still be respected. What about the poor?

Once again, think twice: Is it deserve to show off and get yourselves into trouble?