Kiasi aka Kiasi-ism

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Will Be Back

Will be back soon. Exam starts on this Friday. So, I will continue my story on Friday. C ya.

Sunday, August 28, 2005

YYYYYY Institution (1)

At *********** Shopping Complex…

BOT (Bitter Old Thing) : “Kiasi! Want to shop around with us?”

Me : “Shop? Er… dowan lah. I don’t like shop. I guess I will wait you at the main entrance there.”

BOTs : “Sure ah?”

Me : “Sure.”

BOTs : “OK. Will see you at the main entrance in 15 minutes time. Bye.”

Me : “Bye.” *walk away*

On the way to the entrance…

SYT promoter : “Excuse me sir.”

Me : “Yes?”

SYT : “How should I address you?”

Me : “I’m Wong.”

SYT : “Oh… Mr Wong. Have you heard about our YYYYY Institute?”

Me : *see pamphlet* *English Institute wor* “Er… no wor. Wat’s tat ah?”

SYT : “It is our YYYYY Institute. Have you heard about Cambridge before?”

Me : “Kemblit ah? Oh… got got got.” *Purposely speak in lousy English*

SYT : “Nah, this is our pamphlet. And it was recognized in 100 over countries. Got England, Australia, China, India, Tahiland… bla bla bla… aci aco… So, can I know are you in Form 5?”

Me : “Yayaya…”

SYT : “Then how’s your English? Do you speak English at home?”

Me : “My England ah? Aiyooo… I tiao you hor, my England hor, veli bad wan lah. I also dunno why lidat wan. I want to impluf, but hor, aiyah… very difiket lah. Lid oso dun unlersten wan.”

SYT : “Oh… this is your lucky day. I’ll explain more to you about this. Would you mind to tell me where do you stay?”

Me : “Oh… I stay in dis Taman Melawati wan.”
to be continued...


Sometimes I hate Asstro.
I hate Astro.
Especially the 'Wha Lai Toi'.
Which drama?
Most of the drama, plus some 'travelogue'.
I hate HK's travelogue. They seem to be quite fake. I don't know what are they trying to tell me when I watch it.
Everytime when I watch their travelogue, they always show a few actors and the actresses having fun around. Yes, tour is mend for having fun, but absolutely not for me. Their style of expressing looks sarcastic enough. Whenever they go, 'spa', 'jacuzzi' and red wine are must. Abalone or stupid high-class foods are also a must. I don't understand why are they keeping repeating the same old things even though their destination is different, aren't they? Go Japan, go for spa and jacuzzi. Go China, go for spa and jacuzzi. Go Thailand, go for spa and jacuzzi. Go South Africa, go for spa and jacuzzi. Nothing else to show kah?
Besides, they also make up some puking 'love stories' to make us puke. The stories are so fake that every love can be bloomed within a few days at overseas. And then, they also stress too much on the love theme and neglect the purpose of the tour.
Sometimes, I really wish to understand the oversea's culture or whatever cheap stuffs at there. Got cheap 'mamak-stall' anot? Got cheap pirated VCDs anot? Got cheap prostitutes anot? But ended up, they give us a cheap travelogue.
Aiyah, just compare their travelogue with the 'Discovery Channel Travel and Adventure's Travelogue', starring by Ian Wright and forgotten-the-pretty-girl's-name-already. You see the way the express, the way the bring you to a country, is totally different from those One-Star-HK's-Travelogue. At least, besides watching angmoh introduce you a certain country (at Discovery Tarvel and Adventure), you can also get to know their traditions, basic lifes, tradition foods. And you know lah, angmoh very straight forward wan. The moment the food is not nice, they will also puke the food as a warning to you. See the difference?
So, WTH is all the HK travelogue about?

Saturday, August 27, 2005

To Put Or Not To Put? (2)

So, we all talk talk craps around. Jeremy can talk the best. He can talked about anything. He also talked about why he doesn't use a handphone. He has 2 handphones which are both inside the cabinet. He doesn't use them, because he fed up with handphone, he said that handphone are nuisance, handphone made him cannot 'pikat perempuan' wor.
One day, while Jeremy wanted to go to Cameron Highland with a girl (??? dunno who), suddenly his clients from US called up his handphone, forcing him not to go for holiday, must stay back and treat them. So, Jeremy no choice. He has to left that girl (so cruel) and treat his clients. So, from that day onwards, the girl was very angry. To make her happy back, he boycotted handphone loh.
So, he also talked about ants in the microwave oven also. Ants cannot be burnt to deaft if you put them in the microwave oven. And still got many more.
I also got a chance to chat with Witty. He is also taking is SPM this year. Same gang mah.
I lefted early because I got to go to somewhere after that.
So, the problem is, should I post my picture?

Thursday, August 25, 2005

To Put Or Not To Put? (1)

Kena tiu-ed by my sister liao.
She scolded me for not letting know my identity to the other bloggers wor.
Yes, I admit. I was away few days ago. Therefore, I should give an explanation for this.
I went to the Penang Blogger Meeting.
Penny asked me, how come not many people know I attended the meeting. The main problem is, I don't want my identity to be revealed. I still remember my name was appeared once at Jeff Ooi's blog, and I was cheering like mad. He was praising me. And when my father saw my name, he scolded me here and there, signifying me, "Don't ever show off yourself." I know I can't show off myself. Most of my failures are mainly caused by my pride. I was too proud to be myself.
A blogger sent me a mail: What for reveal ourselves? (I will publish it during the last day before I left) Gain attetion? Someone told me, what for put picture? We like the blog because of her content, not the look of the God of the blog. So, what is so big deal of putting a picture at there?
Actually I can't find any reason why I don't reveal my identity besides of my fugly face. Yes, I'm fugly. Bite me!!! When Peter Tan, KSTang and Ee Yean asked me, "Are you a blogger?", "Yes, I am", I answered. "What is your blog? Who are you?", I was tounge-tied. Alphonso Tan? Mango Tan? Kiasi? My real name? How should I answered? "Alphonso Tan", I answered. "Huh? Didn't hear before", they told me.
I was embarressed.
Alphonso Tan was onced famous before. But was closed down because my parents discovered it. Mango Tan was onced famous before. But was closed down because I want to leave a gap between bloggers and my schoolmates, who will tell me not to do this, not to do that, pray more often, praise the Lord ... bla bla bla ...
I enjoy the blogosphere very much. Especially mixing with friends around.
Back to the Penang Blogger Meeting.
Then there are bloggers around like Ong. He saw us sitting at the same table.
"Hi", he greeted.
"Hi", greeted back by everyone.
"Hi. I expect Reallybites to come, KSTang to come, and also Peter Tan to come. But I didn't expect this boy to come." Yes, I'm tiny. After speaking, Ong went to another table sitting together with Mistyeiz, Jeremy and Lucia Lai.
And then 5xMom brought her toddler. She joined the table with us too. And then came cmos and Witty. Ong arranged the table to L-shape. Everyone was taking their exams. Wah... the questions are really tough marn. How to kill insects? Use slippers, use palms......
Peter took a few shots from afar. But couldn't snap get my pic. Hehehe...
So, after that, we went into the Coffee Bean. 5xMom belanja-ed me a Latte (Thanks 5xMom very much), which everybody busy to snap the photo (look up).
to be continue...

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Google IM!!!

Next big thing by Google, Google Talk: Instant Messaging

They say talk is cheap. Google thinks it should be free. Google Talk enables you to call or send instant messages to your friends for free–anytime, anywhere in the world. Google Talk offers you:

Choice: Get in touch how and when you want to–over email, IM or a call.
Quality: Talk through your computer but hear your friends as if they were in the same room.
Convenience: Your Gmail contacts are pre-loaded into Google Talk so inviting or talking to your friends is just a click away.

Google Talk is in beta and requires a Gmail username and password.
Personally I think its cool because you canclose the tabs without losing your previous conversation.

Have you downloaded your Google Talk? Add me at
***** I proposed this idea to Google before. So, without me, without Google Instant Messenger. :P:P:P:P:P *kembang*

Tuesday, August 23, 2005


Ipoh, nice place indeed.

Got hill, got water.

And also got many SYTs.

I rate that small town as 5-Star lah.


OK. Let us see.

First, Ipoh is famous for her '鸡丝河粉' (Gai Si Hor Fun = Sliced Chicken Kuey Tiau Soup). The sliced chicken was sliced until very fine. And then I don't know how Ipoheans/Ipohites/Yipouyan (??) make those hor fun (kuey tiau), but what I can say is, it is really nice. Very smooth, very fine, and half-transparent.
Secondly, Ipoh is famous for her '鸡仔饼' (Gai Zai Beng = Chick's Biscuit). The pastry is made of chicken and sesame and then don't-know-what-eadible-things. No preservation and MSG. Safe to be eaten.
Thirdly, Ipoh is also famous for it pomelo. Every year before the mooncake festival, full of pomeloes are selling at the stalls of 30 at Jalan Kuala Kangsar. By then, I can only say, I love pomeloes. Therefore, I only trust Ipoh's pomeloes. Other than that, don't ever call me to try the other's pomeloes. But there are more at Jalan Kuala Kangsar. If you take at drive to there, about 10 minutes away from the main Ipoh town, you will see the difference.
Yes, the main thing, Ipoh is famous for her girls. Girls at there are considered the best in Malaysia. I didn't lie. The fact is like that. Undenieable. If you really want to take a look, kindly visit Jalan Kuala Kangsar, where 30 stalls occupied ONLY by prostitutes hookers chickens SYTs. I can say not everyone is SYTs. But if you visit from the first few stalls, you will noticed that SYTs occupy the stalls first, followed one by one by old chicks old lady. Don't worry, man, all girls are wearing in sexy sexy shirts. Because they are selling pomeloes, not cars or aeroplanes, and they have to compete with other stalls too. So their earnings are definitely low, and please don't expect them to wear 'un-sexy' clothes. Besides that, pretty girls, perfect-body size girls, innocent-looking girls, all you can find it at there. But one thing makes me confused, those SYTs can afford high-class handphones. Who can explain this to me?
THe secret recipe of those SYTs are, they drink natural water, which directly flow from the Sungai Kinta and Sungai Perak. And these rivers are washed by the rain water which also brings natural mineral from those marmar and forget-what caves nearby. So, the water that they drink, probably confirmed contains natural minerals like calsium, kalium, ferum... bla bla bla... you name them, which can make their skin looks pretty. This is not a joke, okay?
I've also think of migrating to Ipoh and get a wife at there. But hor, Su Zen had brainwashed me not to marry. She followed doc's path, not to get marry and not to get child. So, no choice loh. Because, make it make sense also. But seeing SYTs is a hobby, okay? Not humsup. Moreover, I'm not a humsup guy. I just want to become the judge for the Miss Universe in the future only mah. Like that also got wrong meh? Aiyoh...
So, can anyone suggest me whether to migrate to Ipoh there or not?
*Beside that, I saw one SYT at the middle of those stalls. Her look is quite innocent. Got her phone number ah? :P

Saturday, August 20, 2005

Will Be Right Back!!

SPM is near. I have to go to somewhere for 'meeting'. So, won't be update for tomorrow til Tuesday. Won't online also. Just SMS or mail me, if anything happens, like want to confess to me, want to invite me to some proms...... just say it. Don't need to feel shy.

Friday, August 19, 2005


I realized this very very early. Stupid me. Now only want to be scolded by my father. I spent to much money on my stupid stupid stupid unnecessary SMSes and calls. Su Zen, can you let me enrol to your group of stupid?

Thursday, August 18, 2005


I just recieved a card from my school. A jogathon card. FARK!!!

I hate jogathon. First thing, I got a pair of small lungs, which don't encourage me to run. Second, I have been studying since Standard One until now, for almost 11 years in the government school, I have been recieving such cards to call us to raise fund for the school for every year. WTH is this!!!

Have you donate before on such things? Do you wish to donate? Is it good to donate?

This is my last year in school. And it makes me mad because of this STUPID STUPID JOGATHON things.

The 'Jogathon Merdeka' fund raising is for the Majlis Sukan Sekolah-sekolah Daerah Hulu Langat Selangor Darul Ehsan 2005. I don't know what the hell is this. Behind the card was stated their objective of (calling us to) raise fund:
1. Membina sebuah bangunan yang boleh menempatkan dewan mesyuarat dan sebuah cafeteria. (Translation : To build a hall which can accomodate a meeting hall and a cafeteria.)
What the heck to do with me? Build meeting hall? In a stadium? Kajang got no hall?
2. Membiayai program pembangunan sukan dan semua aktiviti pendidikan. (Translation : To bear the programme of the improvement in sports and all the education activities.)
Really improve the sport? With the patches football field?
3. Melengkapkan keperluan pentadbiran dan peralatan MSSDHL/PPDHL (Translation : To fulfill the needs of the administration and tools of MSSDHL/PPDHL)
Hey! My father pays his taxes ok? So? Want to ask from me again?

So, WTF really want me to raise fund for them?

So, our teacher announced something to us today.
1. Must collect a minimum amount of RM20. (??? Also so high)
2. Must return before the 8th of September.
3. Must wear school uniform to raise fund. (Chi sin)
4. If the jogathon fund raising card is lost, must report to the police (???). And wil be fined RM50 (so high)

Lembu suci!

Step Step

Step, not pijak that step, but angkat that step. Angkat, not carry that angkat, but adopt that angkat.

Long long time ago, in a country called China (that time wasn't called China yet), don't know which dynasty, people often take the word 义 (yi, meaning relationship) as an important character. They looked upon the relationship between their friends and family, and won't betray each other. As you can always see in the HK Dramas, especially about the historical dramas, those kungfu fighters will usually take care of each others, and prayed to the God together, "The King is above, and we are below, that me, *name* and him *name*, will pray to become step brother. Although we are not born at the same year, same month and same day, hope that we will die at the same year, same month and same day." Some of the kungfu fighters did keep their promise. The moment one of them died, the another will commit suicide too. Very touching indeed.

But nowadays are different.

I hate step step nowadays. I don't know why.

I am quite fed up when someone request to become step step relationships. Especially the step brother step sister's type. What for need that? He/She won't die for you also lah.

Apparently, no one offers me such thing. SO, I don't mind. But, I just came across to one of my schoolmate's blog. He is also quite somekind. I don't know how many step relatives he has. From father to mother, until gandfather also got, no brother, but only more than dozens of sisters. WTF is this?

How he can get so many? This is the problem. The schoolmate of mine, he is a quite 'flower heart' and unloyal guy. So, every month, he will go after a girl who is pretty. I am doubt whether he owns a mirror or not. So, he uses back the same tactics. Whenever he fails to get the girl, or after broking up, he will take her as his 'stepsister'. That's how he goes, and months by months, he number of his stepsister is getting more and more. Same old lame tactics. Haihz...

Just now I came across his blog. He adopted another stepsister. Meaning that, he failed in his love relationship this month. Haihz... So childish. Use this type of tactics to calm himself down.

Not to say I am jealous also. There are also girls who requested me to become their farking stepbrother also, which I feel shy to decline. So, as a result, no choice loh, have to play along with them. Sometimes they are quite nuisance. Sometimes, they will start to bug me whenever they see me, for not knowing that I am actually quite busy or not in the interest with them. They didn't realize what I want too. They don't understand. Besides that, whenever I say something about not happy things with them, they won't help me nor they will interested to listen them. They will pretend not to tell me anything and make their annoying faces and give you warning that, "NOT TO CONTINUE ANYMORE!!!" Actually I can't find any speciality between a normal friendship and relationship. What's the different.

Boys are always the unlucky one. Whenever they adopt a stepsister, they must treat them good, bring them for lunch, tell jokes with them, entertain them, let them bully... bla bla bla...
At last, who gain the disadvantages? Think by myself.

Actually I am quite sick with these relationship. Not only spend time, but also spend money. Plus, no freedom. WTH! I just want a normal life. I don't want to play step step. I don't want to die with my stepsisters!!!

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

明知 (Already know)


明知小男孩, 却去学人爱.
明知她可爱, 却不敢表白.
明知傻呆呆, 却又不肯改.
明知有靓仔, 却让她走开.

Hanyu Pinyin:

ming zhi xiao nan hai, que qu xue ren ai.
ming zhi ta ke ai, que bu gan bian bai.
ming zhi sha dai dai, que you bu ken gai.
ming zhi you liang zai (lengzai), que rang ta zou ka.

English Translation:

Already know I'm a small boy, but go and learn people to love.
Already know she is cute, but dare not confess.
Already know I'm stupid, but dare not change my attitude.
Already know got handsome boy, but just let her goes off.

*sob sob* Most likely no more hope liao. I'm down.

*Note, this is the first Chinese poem I composed

Music Attached!!!

This is one of my favourite classic, named Fantasie Impromtu, composed by Frederic Francois Chopin. Classic lover sure know this song.

How's the song? Complicated? Confusing? Difficult? Do kindly leave a comment.

Song will be abolished within a week. Depends on my mood.


I have forgotten how I can get into my present school just like that. Previously, I was from a Chinese School. I sually scored very low marks for my Bahasa Malaysia. And after my UPSR, I just can't imagine what will my future be like, when I am in Malay School. With my telor or gagap or whatsoever BM is that, I think that I will ended up be a useless expresso expresser.

But things go differently. I couldn't imagine that among 3 of my Chinese school friends, I cope up the best 'bahasa pasar'. You know how important is bahasa pasar? When you go pasar (whatever pasar malam, pasar pagi, pasar tani or pasar ramadhan), you will use that bahasa well. Eg. for bahasa pasar, "Kenape ni? Apasal kau nak bat macam ni?" You know, sometimes it is good to use bahasa pasar rather than Annuar Ibrahim's bahasa baku. At least, the way of speaking is more natural.

Back to the title, 入乡随俗 which if direct translate it to English, it will bring a meaning of "enter kampung village follow culture" or in a more perfect meaning, suit the environment. For those who still don't know, never mind, in Bahasa Malaysia, we call it "masuk kandang kambing mengembek, masuk kandang kerbau menguak" *my Bahasa Malaysia has brush up very fast* Understand? If don't understand, go find a toilet bowl, put your head in, and flush.

It is important to learn how to suit the environment well. Here I present my grandmother story...

One day Long long time ago, when Malay Land aka Tanah Melayu aka Nanyang was ruled by British, while the number of the local citizens can't bring much prosperous to the British, the British imported workers from Madras, Fujian and Kwangtung. And from there onwards, where our ancestors (I mean for the Chinese and Indians only) were brought in to the Malay Land aka Tanah Melayu aka Nanyang to work for the British. They had been worked very hard, and learned very smart to keep up their Bahasa Pasar. They suddenly know how to speak Malay, but in a lousy way, "Aiseh, hali ini hor, memang letih lah. Gua sulah keja satu hali, manyak penat oo." Besides that, they also came out many new Malay words, such as beca, kongsi, kamcing...... (you can get it here) Not only that, because of the combination of different races (Malay, Chinese and Indian) Manglish and Singlish were introduced. "Aiyah, is lidat wan lah."

OK, back to our topic.

I seriously look in this matter. When I was on a trip to Shanghai, the tour guide told us, "Learn to suit the environment here in China. Obviously there will be many difference here and there, like in a sense of slang, manners, and food. Learn to suit it." Although it was just a one week tour, I tried to follow their accent, and tried to speak their slang. It is good to try to speak like them. When you are buying things, speak in their skang, they will charge much more cheaper, becasue they don't take you as a tourist also. So, that's why, it is good to "入乡随俗".

I was on my trip to Shanghai, together with my family, joining a tour group, in a group of 27 people. From old to young, ah pek to ah lian, and uncle to auntie. As we know, China encounters 4 seasons a year. Therefore, beer is produced to keep the body temperature warm. The beer in China is really cheap. Probably cheaper than mineral water. One botol of 800ml beer costs around RMB1.50 (depends on the area), convert to RM, costs RM0.75. And people at there like beer very much. Every meal, there must have AT LEAST a bottle of beer on the table. Different area has different beer. Eg. Harbin has Harbin Beer, Wuxi has Wuxi beer, Nanking has Nanking beer... but among the beers, Tsing Dao (青岛) has the proclaimed best beer of all. So, during the trip, we have to sit with one old ah pek. For every meal, he drinks beer, only prefers Tsing Dao Beer. But during our trip to China, with him sitting on the same table with us, from day one to day eight, he still requesting for his Tsing Dao Beer...

Tour Guide : "Lai lai lai. Can eat already. Can eat already."

Everyone : *settle on a table*

Ah Pek : *see table got Xuan Wu Beer* "Eh, tour guide, got Tsing Dao Beer anot?"

He kept repeating his conversation for every meal, from day one to day eight, until we really don't know how to serve him. Got Xuan Wu Beer, then drink Xuan Wu Beer lah. WTH buzzed us during every meal?

Come on, I mean that shows how important to '入乡随俗'. If canoot, balik to your own kampung, and drink your own Tsing Dao Beer.

Saturday, August 13, 2005


My mom has allergic, maybe caused by the haze. So, juts now...
Mom : *sitting watching TV* *scratched arm* * scratched leg* *scratch everywhere*
Me : "Ma, why are you scratching here and there?"
Mom : "Itchy lah. Allergic again."
Me : "Oic. Then see doctor get injection lah."
Mom : "Dowan lah."
Me : "Why dowan? Scare injection ah?" *lol*
Mom : "No lah. The injection hor, made of steroid mah."
Me : "So?"
Mom : "Scare body shape will change."

Friday, August 12, 2005

What Is Happiness?

Psalm 34
Of David. When he feigned insanity before
Abimelech, who drove him away, and he left.
1I will extol the LORD at all the times; His praise will always be on my lips.
2My soul will boast in the LORD; let the afflicted hear and rejoice.
3Glorify the LORD with me: let us exalt his name together.
4I sought the LORD, and He answered me: He delivered me from all my fears.
5Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.
6This poor man called, and the LORD heard him; He saved him out of all his troubles.
7The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him, and He delivers them.
8Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.
9Fear the LORD, you His saints, for those who fear Him lack nothing.
10The lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the LORD lack no good
11Come, my children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the LORD.
12Whoever of you loves life and desires to see many good days,
13keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking lies.
14Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it.
15The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous and His ears are attentive to their
16the face of the LORD is against those who do evil, to cut off the memory of them from the earth.
17The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; He delivers them from all their
18The LORD is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in
19A righteous man may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them
20He protects all His bones, not one of them will be broken.
21Evil will slay the wicked; the foes of the righteous will be condemned.
22The LORD redeems His servants; no-one who takes refuge in Him will be
I was forced invited to a 'hot-dog party' which was held by my those Christian friends. Before the 'hot-dog party' was held, we were having an 'ice-breaker' session, whereby everyone has to give out their opinion on certain topics. But that day, they gave us this passage, which was taken from Psalm 34, and they asked us a question, "What is happiness means to you?"
Without hesitation, I answered spontanously, "Stupid." Everybody laughed and seems like no one understnad my meaning. THey teased at me, saying, "Aiyah, you want to be stupid, then you become stupid by your own lah." I didn't feel anything, nor I feel being teased. In fact, I'm sure they don't know why I voiced out my 2 cents to them.
傻人有傻福 (Translation : Stupid people got stupid happiness). Yes, for what I think, this eally happens. Sometimes, I might got and sit the back corner of my class, seeing how people laughing among themselves, seeing people how happy are they, seeing people to act clowns and fooling the others, everything goes happy. No worry, and no difficulties. I want to get those life. I do jealous of them.
I feel a slightly special being same class with them. I knwo how to think, and the 'know-how-to-think' makes me dived into a down situation. I see those students, watching dramas and films everyday, praising those things that smells good to them; whereas, what about me? Thinking about what to blog everyday, how to finish up my post, when is the next increasement of the petrol, predict how Rafidah will be hantam-ed in the parliament, how will the government solve the haze problem...... It is good to do this, being a 'loyal' Malaysia citizen. But, the more I care about local issue, the more I worry. I am worrying about what Malaysia will be. I am worry what will the rakyat do, if the know some secrets which lie underneath the carpet. Haihz... look like we still don't know anything, and that's why we ar estill living in a happy environment.
Back there, sometimes I find that Malaysia bloglitics are also quite interesting. 'Secretly' flaming people around, posing some 'sore eye' pictures to show everyone, and gained hatred from others. It is quite funny I can say. Some people who don't know the fact will just take it as a joke, while those who know, will take it seriously, and feel uncomfortable about such situations. And yet, is stupid a happiness?
Yes, of course, I can get rid out of this question. I can be happy, by acting very stupid. I was flamed before because I am too clever, simply concerned about friend and flamed back by him. Am I happy with the result that being flamed? Of course no! Why? Because I am too clever. And in fact, I can say I ain't as happy as my other classmates, just because I know too much.
I can't get rid out of these. I was borned in a mature family background, which deals with local economics and stock market everyday. Everyday, economics were influenced by local businesses, businesses were influenced by local politics, politics were influenced by money... everything was linked together, no matter how. Everyday, in the kitchen having dinner, also will hear get those 'big shots' names. What Vincent Tan lah, Lim Kok Thye lah...... To get the whole vision, we have to master all of them. That's why there are many who told me before, "You are not a teenager." (I am not blowing my own trumpet, okay?)
I'm living in a reality world everyday, with worries around me. Although I'm not as happy as my other classmates, but I know, what my parents do is for my own good, by making me a mature boy.

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Stupid School

I ponteng-ed school today due to the hazardous haze in my village housing area. So, I slept until 11.30 a.m. OK lah. Normal mah. 5xMom also sleeps until 12 p.m. everyday. *run away fast fast*

So, it seems like I’m the only one who ponteng. Clever leh? Nevermind. I’m proud to ponteng class.

So, after waited until 1.30 p.m. a little bird came back and informed us tomorrow no school. Hurayyy… But later she told me something pathetic.

Indeed, our school is very stupid.
The story goes in this way…

One period before the recess, the haze is really terrible. Students can only see buildings in the range of 70 metre. So, they proposed to the principle. And that’s what the principle scold them, “Tak leh! Tak leh! Tak leh balik. Walaupun dalan apa keadaan pun, PELAJAR TIDAK DIBENARKAN BALIK. (Translation: Cannot! Cannot! Cannot go back home! STUDENTS ARE NOT ALLOWED TO GO BACK HOME in any condition.) ”

Just imagine some of the students are coughing throughout the whole period, and some black out, and the principle still say cannot?

What the school is doing ah? Are they the terrorist? If they want to die, just die themselves lah. What for pull the students leg?

Judgement Day?!?!?!

Did I see wrongly?
Some one messenger-ed me...
"The judgement day is just around the corner."
What can I do? Stay in the house listening to 'mice love rice' loh.


Klang and Kuala Selangor were declared darurat-ed just now, which means official holiday at the 2 areas.
When will HULU LANGAT get it???
Argh argh agrh...


Will it be the official holiday tomorrow? Stay tune on NTV 7 at 3 p.m. to get the latest news.

Night Ghost

Due to the fog-Indonesia haze, schools in KL, Klang and Kuala Selangor has been officially given 2 days holiday. And there are many night ghosts still appearing on my messenger list.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005


Alphonso Tan : BTW, what is your name ah
豆腐仔says: ooppsss.. my name is jonathan... also stated in the top right of my blog
Alphonso Tan : oh
Alphonso Tan : lupa liao
豆腐仔says: it's ok
Alphonso Tan : bcoz I always see you put 豆腐仔 wan mah
Alphonso Tan : you lke to eat taufu wan meh
豆腐仔says: yah.. like to eat tofu... white smooth succulent soft gentle tofu... nice in the mouth
Alphonso Tan : whose taufu
豆腐仔 : good source of protein as well
Alphonso Tan says: which girl's taufu you want
豆腐仔says: hahahahaa i mean food la...

MSN Messenger

I looked back at my MSN and Yahoo Messenger. I see see saw saw, but there are no Malay on my list. Not even one. I started to think, am I a racist, only got Chinese, but no Malay. The only non-Malay on my Messenger list is Moses.

Just now, my friend (let us call her Carol) went to her school's computer room and signed in her MSN Messenger. But before she left, she forgot to sign out. So, the next computer user (let us call her ana) used her messenger. So, we just have a short chat. I can see from the way she type, she is a clear cut PURE KAMPUNG MALAY with her BAHASA PASAR. So, she asked me...

Ana : "U form rape?"

I was dumbfarked. I stared at the conversation. "I form rape?" Hey, I neither rape nor sodomize poeple, okay? i stared for about 10 seconds. At last, I understand already. She is trying to ask me, "You Form berapa?" meaning "What Form are you in?" I was ROTFLMAO.

Chatting with different dialec is really tough. I spent one whole night to read her whole conversation.

Monday, August 08, 2005


[01:20:48 AM] (L) Su Zen (: have u watched 8mm?
[01:20:59 AM] Alphonso Tan: 8mm?
[01:21:04 AM] Alphonso Tan: why so short wan?
[01:21:05 AM] (L) Su Zen (: soo scaryyyyyyyy
[01:21:10 AM] (L) Su Zen (: aa
[01:21:47 AM] (L) Su Zen (: how i know
[01:21:49 AM] (L) Su Zen (: but so scaryyyy
[01:22:12 AM] Alphonso Tan: yayaya
[01:22:20 AM] Alphonso Tan: where got people's dick got only 8mm so short wan
[01:22:54 AM] (L) Su Zen (: haha[01:22:58 AM] (L) Su Zen (: not about dick la lolx

Then what is 8mm about? Show about 'ho hia di'?

Saturday, August 06, 2005


Argh... farked up!!!

Norton, McAfree, Panda, Anti-Spyware, Spybot Search & Destroy, Ad-Aware, all tried out liao. Now still left one more choice, 'REFORMAT'. Any other choice.

* My problem is, unnecessary pop-ups appear whenever I click to a new site. MSN pop ups can't help. Suspected spied by them already. Any help?

PHI Number

I don't know why I can master in my maths. But indeed, I love Maths very much. Kacang only mah. And I often do research where other students don't. I just found out something informative.

I suppose those who has read the 'Da Vinci Code' authored by Dan Brown know a little informations about the PHI number. Yes, the 1.618, the beautiful number.

Basically, let me give you some basic info about the PHI number. The sequence goes in this way...

0, 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34, 55, 89, 144, 255......

which is the sum of the first number and the second number produces the third number (0+1 = 1). The sum of the second number with the third number produces the fourth number (1+1 = 2) and so on.

And when you take the second number divide by the first number, your answer is alsmost the same as 1.618. Take an example, 1/1 = 1, very close. 2/1 = 2, getting closer. 3/2 = 1.5, closer and closer. 5/3 1.667 closer and closer and closer, and so on......

The number 1.618 occurs at many places, like in music, animals, populations, body measurements, etc. Take an example which taken from the 'Da Vinci Code', the number of a female bees in a hive is 1.618 times more than the male bees in the same hive. How can such things happen? Er... GOK (God only knows).

For more information, kindly visit to this website. I have been reading it throughout the whole night.

Friday, August 05, 2005


Charles just got his license 2 months ago. So, he decided to fetch us out for lunch today. While sending back home...

Charles : *driving*

Traffic light : *red light*

Cars in front : *stopped*

Charles : *stopped*

A moment later...

Charles : "Ow... WTF! A 'P' driver stopped in front of us."

Me : "But last time when you took your driving test, you were also a 'P' driver mah. So, what's wrong with that?"

Charles : "Aiyah, you don't know wan lah. Drive behind a 'P' driver hor, very dangerous wan. Bile-bile masa, their engine will die off wan."

Me : "Oic."

Traffic light : *turned green*

Cars in front : *started to move*

Charles : *change gear*

Charles car : *die engine*

Charles : "WTF! What happened?"

Me : *lol*

The last man got the last laugh.

'Ho Hia Di' Is Coming To Town!


Dad : *driving car*

Car : *passed by a street*

Street : *got pasar malam*

Me : "Ma, how come today got pasar malam wan?"

Mom : "Tomorrow the 'ho hia di' is coming out mah."

Me : "oic."

Mom : "So, cannot go out at night buy your Ramli Burger. Wait they will catch you away then you know. And also, sleep early."

Me : "..."

Argh... My Ramli Burger, my mamak session, my midnight blogging time, all gone... sigh...

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Bloglink Long Leh?

Since someone mailed to me...


you definately need this lar, your links whole street long. go to this link--


and someone cursed commented something behind me back, "you would notice he has a long-ass list of links", so I think I should do something on it. I have to shorten my bloglinks. I've been so 'san fu' 'find one blog, paste on URL' on it. And then at last, aigh...

Readers outside there? My new hairstlye bloglinks nice anot? Got cacat anot? Fell free to comment.

I miss my previous, long, 'whole street long' links...

Orang Cina!!!

It was the third period of the school today. The Physic teacher wasn't in yet. She has a course somewhere nearby-erm-dunnowhere-around Malaysia. So, there came another teacher came in. It was an empty period. Since the Physic teacher wasn't around, the teacher tend to let us do what we want, previde, we don't kacau him. I took my half-finished Chinese translated version of 'Angels and Demons' and read. While reading, the teacher walked here and there. He saw me reading my book. There he barked...

Teacher : "Hooi! Cina! Buat apa kat situ?" (Translation : Hooi! Chinese! What are you doing there?)

Everybody : *stopped their work* *looking at me*

Me : *stared at him*

Teacher : "Sini sekolah Cina ke Melayu?" (Translation : Is this a Chinese school or Malay school?")

Me : "Melayu. Habis?" (Translation : Malay. So?")

Teacher : "Habis? Tak boleh baca Cina lah. Baca Melayu. Ini Negara Malaysia. Melayu!!!" (Translation : So? Cannot read Chinese lah. Read Malay. This is Malaysia. Malay!!!)

Me : *farked up* *keep book*

WTF is this? In fact, I would have answered him, "Saya orang Cina ke Melayu?", then it will prbably easier for me to save myself. But since I am a peacemaker, better avoid unnenessary arguements. Cannot read Chinese? Who set this rule?

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Die Die Die

Die die die. This few weeks got so many things to do. Bloggers meeting so many, school competitions so many, exams so many, reading so many, and then got piano exam summore. Jialat. Didn't practise much.

I ponteng-ed school today, just for the sake of taking my ABRSM Piano exam at Prince Hotel & Residence. The hotel quite nice. I reached there around 9.10 a.m. After registered, I sat at the Waiting Room. The whole Ballroom floor was occupied just for the Piano Exam. Wahliao...

Nah, this is my piano history: Start learning piano after PMR, first month go for Grade 2, second month straight away go to Grade 5, skipped Grade 3 and 4. Now learning Maksim's songs.

Besides me, there were also a few people in the waiting room. But I'm the only one without my parents accompany. 'Dai-gor-zhai' already mah, no need daddy mommy accompany me. But, as usual lah, there are also parents who don't trust thier kids, thinking that their kids will go after me go after another boy, so, they have to accompany their kids around.

I was sitting inside the room. While I was reading my Chinese Translated Version of 'Angels and Demons', a whole bunch of family came in, with an unformal-clothing. Father, mother, 3 sons (suspected 14 years old, 12 years old and the one who is taking the exam,10 years old). WTH called his elder brothers together and accompany him to take the exam also. Father mother come enoug halready lah. What for so many? The waiting room was so conjested.

So, the family talking together in Cantonese with high Desibel, without realizing I'm reading my book. I felt irritated, as the whole family was making so much noise. The father then stood up, walking around, see the scenery outside...

Ah Pek : "Wah, the hotel here hor, the view quite nice hor (whole KL is covered with the thick haze OK?), got swimming pool summore (there is no girl in the swimming pool OK?)."

Me : *Beh song*

Ah Pek's 10 years old son : "Kor... I demn scare lah."

Ah Pek's wife : "Haiyah, you ah... *pointing at her son* demn stupid wan lah. last year fail the test. This year I also dunno how."

Me : *stomach pain* *enter toilet* *pangsai*

While I was panging my sai out, I heard the Ah Pek's voice from outside...

Ah Pek : "Eh, I wonder where is the toilet." *knock knock door*

Me : "Got people."

Ah Pek : "Where is the toilet ah?" *banged banged the door*

Farking Idiot!!! Deaf ah? Didn't hear what am I saying ah? Luckily, the door was hard enough to stand his velocity, and prevent my nude picture to be exposed.

I quickly wiped my bartok hole, get out of the toilet, took my bag, and left the waiting room. I went to the balcony. The hoo-haa-ing voice of the 3 kids still can be heard. Luckily the my time was around at there. As soon as I settle my bag on a chair, the examiner called me in. The examiner is a guai-poh. Quite tall and quite friendly. I played my pieces, and scales, and sight reading. And then she played a song and asked me some quesitons...

Guai poh : "When do you think this song was composed?"

Me : "Er... classics?"

Guai poh : "Why do you think so?"

Me : "Er... because of the volume? Dynamics? Tempo?"

Guai poh : "er... volume and the dynamic is the same thing. Anything else? Why do you think this song was composed in the Classical Period?"

Me : "Er... my inspiration told me that."

Guai poh : *LOL*

Me : *farked up*

Die die die. Dunno this time can pass anot. Die die die.

After that, went to the lobby to wait for my father to coem and fetch me. Since he is working, I dowan to kacau him lah. I sat at the lobby for 2 hours and continuing my 'Angels and Demons'. There are also some SYTs sat beside me. -Sweat- All also quite 'chun'.

Hopefully my piano exam won't die lah. Still got one more competition ahead. On Friday. Have to die one mroe time.

Jason, Carol and me

Yesterday night...

Mom : *cooking*

Me : "Huh? You cooked ady ah?"

Mom : "Huh? You dowan me to cook izzit?"

Me : "No lah, wait have to go yumchar with friends."

Mom : "OK loh, then I cook a lil bit oni."

After dinner, 7.45p.m., terus sneaked out from house to Taman *******. I called Jason...

Me : "Jason, where are you?"

Jason : "I'm at Taman ********. Can't find Carol's house lah. How to go?"

Me : "OK, you wait for me first. I am heading to Mobil Station now, pick me up at there, and I'll agak-agak for you."

Jason : "OK."


Jason : *picked me up* *shook hand* "Hei! You very handsome, hor?

Me : *shook hand*

Jason : "Where is Carol's house? How come find so long still cannot find get wan? She said her house is facing the main road wan wor."

Me : "Izzit? What road?"

Jason : "Jalan **. Wah... Taman ******* demn big hor?"

Me : "Yalah. Very big. The size of a Vatican City."

Jason & Me : *find find* *call call* *drive drive* *talk talk* *called Carol*

Jason : "Where is your house?"

Carol : "My house in from got one Proton Wira wan?"

Me : *#$@#@@# Whole Malaysia got how many Wira?*

10 minutes later, target found.

Jason : "Wanna go where?"

Carol : "Yaloh, go where and eat?"

Me : "SC?"

Jason : "That mamak stall ah?"

Carol : "Dowan lah."

Jason : "Ampang got what special wan?"

Carol : "Yong tau fu."

Jason : "OK. Go try Yong Tau Fu. Kiasi, you lead."

On the way...

Carol : "Jason, you drive demn scary marn."

Jason : "Haiyah... what to scare?"

Me : "Scare of die lah."

15 minutes later, reached Ampang Town...

Car : *reached Yog Tau Fu Restaurant*

Me : *see see* *macam kedai tutup sudah mau tutup saja* "Jason, go straight."

Car : *overshot*

Jason : "Haiyah, dowan to eat here lah. Eat something else."

Carol & Me : "Then go back our place there again loh."

15 minutes drive back to Taman *******...

Carol & Me : "Just settle at this 'Sweet Talk Restaurant' only lah."

Jason : "OK."

We : *entered restaurant*

Jason : *see menu* *ticked menu* *see menu* *ticked menu*......

Me : *see menu* *think think pocket got enough money anot* *see menu* *think think pocket got enough money anot* ......

Carol : *see menu* "Jason, Jason, this one very delicious wan. I like this dish very much." *see menu* "Jason, Jason, this one not bad also. I like this one very much also." ......

Later, food ordered...

Jason : *snapped pictures around*

Me : *curi snapped Carol's pictures*

Carol : *waiting for me to curi snap her pictures*

Food came...

Me & Jason : *snapped pictures again*

Jason : "Aiseh... Sorry lah Carol. I canm't find a flower shop. So, cannot buy flower for you already."

Me : *jealous*

Carol : "Haiyah, don't flirt lah. You will buy flowers for me?"

Jason : "Will wan. I got buy for Juliana. There is no reason why I don't want to buy for you mah."

Me : *#@#@#@#*

The food at 'Sweet Talk' was not bad, but the only thing is the 'tau huey'. Not nice. We ordered er... 'dunno-what-mango-ice', 'deep fried crab stick', many things summore.

Later while sending Carol back home, around 10.30 p.m...

Carol : "Kiasi, what is your handphone number?"

Me : Wait first, lemme check. I also forget liao."

Carol : *LOL*

Me : "OK, found. 01*-*******. OK?"

Carol : "OK." *came down from Jason's car*

Jason dropped me at the same Mobil Station and go to find Kai Hong...

Did I miss something? Yes. Holly Caw!! I missed this lenglui's handphone number. Carol, give me a miss call, or at least an SMS, please!!

Jason, next time, if want to eat 'tau huey', just go pasar malam lah. Cheaper, nicer, especially the Pandan, Egg, Corn and Chocolate flavours wan. Better than this.

Price of the meal = RM35 something.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

I'm Too Soft

I think of one question. Am I too soft?

Soft, meaning 'not hard' (haiyah, don't think senget, okay?), don't have my own judgement, and can't even make a decision of myself.

Sometimes, I try not to offend people. Erm... or can I say, it is good to help people? I just don't wish to make people down by saying something which he/she doesn't like it, or just to reject or decline his/her request. Frankly speaking, I am a person who entertain people more than I entertain myself. I thought that maybe this is an action to gain more and more friends, but things go different.

I don't mind to say 'no' to anyone. So long as he/she is happy, I'm satisfy. I want love everybody like how they love me, but just forget about it. Now only I realized. I realized that I lost many things to fulfill their wishes. I think I lose more happiness instead of following my way, although teachers always teach us: Help people, and we'll be happy. I think the steps are totally being mixed up.

I find, I'm the very few 'kind people' around. I just try to satisfy my friend, but at last, I gain nothing. Take an example:

Teacher : "Wei, kiasi, can help me go to my table to take those books anot?"
Me : "OK, no problem." *went to the table* *brought books*

Friend : "Can teach me how to solve this equation ah?"
Me : "Can, no problem. This one, er..., dy dx. And then substitute these 2 figures inside... bla bla bla..."

Friend : "Can belanja me makan McD ah?"
Me : "No problem." *paid*

The last sitaution, I used my dad's money. I feel guilty to my dad. I don't wish to tell him. I don't wish to know I'm a lonely boy in my school. I still want to fulfill my dad's wish, hoping that he will think, "Wah, I got a very successful son hor. Can mix around with people..." Awh... just forget about it. What I do, is actually foolish for me.

Now, I have to slowly change myself. Not being bullied by my friend, I have to choose this way, try to say 'no'.

My Related Story's Link

Monday, August 01, 2005

I've Been Waiting For

I've been waiting for this moment for a very long time. I've been waiting for August. I've been waiting for this month, but I still have to wait for the day. And sorry to say that I will quit soon.

I will still blog, but one fine day, I will quit, 6 months after I started my blog business.

Many bloggers who stopped blogging keep on encouraged me to continue blogging, which sometimes I do not know how to reply. I will stop. I am temporary running out of time. The fact is, I am having my SPM exam (Form 5) on the 9th November 2005. So, I hope that I will leave everything down, chess, Maths, games, love, sports... and concentrate on my studies.

Maybe I won't concentrate 100%, but I will still appear in the blogosphere to do some observations around, reading others blogs and post comments.

I really appreciate dear readers and supporters around to support me, cheer me up, and do everything for me. I am being blessed. Therefore, I have to thank to everybody.

I planned everything. And I will work on it. I'm thinking of whether to buy my own domain fo myself. Can you people outside there help me to think of a good name for my new name? I don't want Alphonso Tan or Mango Tan or Kiasi, but I want something that people won't recognize me in the future. Any idea?