Kiasi aka Kiasi-ism

Saturday, January 21, 2006

5 Stories (Part 1)

Who? : Me & Examiner A
Where? : Drving School
What? : Driving Test for Jalan Raya
When? : 12.55 p.m.

Me : *entered the car* "Selamat sejahtera, encik."

Examiner : "Hmm..."

Me : *tested pedal* *adjust seat* *tighten up seat belt* *tested viper* *tested signal lights and hazard lights* *adjusted front mirror* *adjusted halfway for the sidemirror*

Examiner : "OK, cepat! Jalan! Cepat sikit!"

Me : *stepped accelerating pedal* *released clutch pedal a little bit*

Car : *moved*

Examiner : *marked 'X' at the 'Correct front mirror and side mirrors'*

Me : *wtf!* *saw traffic light turns green* *saw a white borderline box in front of me* *stepped break pedal*

Car : *slowed down*

Examiner : "Cepat sikit!! Kalau takda kereta, jalan terus! Tak yah brek!"

Me : *wtf!*

Not long later, we reached their "man-made roundabout"...

Me : *saw white border line box in front* *stepped break pedal*

Car : *slowed down*

Examiner : "Jalan! Jalan! Jalan! Kalau takda kereta, jalan terus saja! Tak yah break! Haiyoh~~~"

Later on the kampung road...

Me : *driving lousy Kancil at the speed of 55km/h. 3rd gear.*

Examiner : "Jalan cepat sikit! Kasi tekan minyak sampai habis!"

Me : *Mahder, this is kampung road lah wei.* *stepped accelerating pedal until finished*

Examiner : "Ini bukan kelas kali pertama. Kalau ini kelas kali pertama, saya kena ajar awak! Ini ujian! Maksudnya you kena faham bila nak pandu laju!"

Me : *kampung road also have to drive fast?!?!?!*

1.5 km later...

Examiner : "OK, sampai sini pusing."

Me : "Huh?"

Examiner "Pusing lah! Cepat sikit!"

It's just a shortcut to shorten the whole course. But later, as cars kept on coming from behind and left...

Examiner : "OK, jalan."

Me : *released clutch pedal*

Car : *dancing*

Righthand side car : *speeded at the speed of 80km/h*

Examiner : "Apalah lu! Saya suruh bagi tau you keluar cepatsikit, you tak dengar kah?!"

Car : "Maaf tuan."

Examiner : "Maaf-maaf buat apa?! Tak guna mya you maaf."

At last...

Me : *reached destination*

Examiner : *marked marked marked results*

Final result, I passed with my 17/20. This is the worst test I've ever encountered in my life.

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